I went out shooting pictures yesterday afternoon with my ex-husband of all people (sorry David). He took me to Quabbin Reservoir which is one of his favorite places on earth. It was quite an adventure. He was attempting to get me to a small lake he found a few weeks earlier and because I have little to no experience hiking, he went the "easy" way. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was trying to kill me. :)
The whole place was muddy from 4" inches of rain topped off with all the melted snow. It was like walking in a mine field. And don't get me started on the thorns. I swear there was bush that was determined to keep me and make me its pet.
By the time we got to the lake, I was sweating and rather tired. But there it was. A rather large mud puddle. What had been a "beautiful lake" weeks earlier in the snow was now a dirty pond. We decided to walk around it and go back down the other "easy" way. HA! Remember the mud mine field I spoke? Well I stepped right in one. I went in almost to my knee. As I tried to hop up and out, my other foot landed in the stream I was trying to "hop" over. Now both feet were soaked and I had mud to my knees. Ok, I was prepared for a few missteps. Just not thoroughly wet feet. But then, maybe I shouldn't have worn my Rykas. He kept telling me to find boots.
It turned out that we needed to climb up the mountain a bit higher to find the path back down. As we were walking, we heard a mating call that was so close. We looked for wild turkeys, ducks, or geese but could see none. We did see a small body of water up ahead of us so we walked as quietly as possible to find the noise maker. It was a frog! A very small frog. I was so surprised.
It seemed like a great place to take a picture across the surface of the water so when I saw a felled birch, I decided to take a seat. Suddenly as my backside was nearing the tree, I felt compelled to say "Please don't break, please don't break, please don't break." I should have kept my mouth shut. It broke and I ended up on my back with my legs in the air.
Now keep in mind who I'm with - my ex-husband. I'm surprised he didn't take a picture of that pose (I guess I should develop that roll before I make THAT statement). I'm also surprised he didn't pee his pants with all that laughing. But then again, most of the laughing came from me. I am so not a woodsy girl.
So when all was said and done, we took 72 shots of the most beautiful woods, birds, and water. He took me to the summit and I got numerous shots of the mountain ranges in the distance. It was magnificent. I am so glad, mud and all, that I spent the afternoon there taking pictures. I'm sure I have a lot to choose from for my next critique.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Yesterday
Yesterday was an amazing day. It rained like we'd need an ark. It was torrential. But there was something about it that was really cool. I was worried at first because it was the day we were to learn how to mat our photographs. I got my matboard in my car without it getting dirty or wet somehow but the walk from campus parking is far too long so I asked one of the parking guards to let me get close to drop it off. He agreed and my matboard arrived safely. I actually matted four prints. The teacher did the first one to show me how and I did the next three. I'm ready for the critique tomorrow but I know I'm the only one who will be. My classmates are not as committed to this class as I am. Only two of us showed and only I had the right stuff with me. It's disheartening on the teacher. But... I got his full attention and didn't have to share the equipment so I'm all set.
My new scanner is suppose to be here tomorrow. I can't wait to set it up and scan some of my negatives. I do hope it has good resolution. I'll post one if it does.
My new scanner is suppose to be here tomorrow. I can't wait to set it up and scan some of my negatives. I do hope it has good resolution. I'll post one if it does.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Ritual tonight
The women's group is having their Vernal Equinox ritual tonight. I'm usually so excited to go but I've been so busy lately. I'm tired and I just want to stay home. But I won't. I'll go and when I leave, I'll breathe a sigh of relief that I gave the night as a gift to myself. I always leave more refreshed than when I came in.
Maybe it's because I just had to travel 20 miles north of home to buy photo paper so I can make prints tomorrow in the darkroom for the critique next Wednesday. The traffic was insane. I don't know if it's because it's Friday or because it's the Friday before Easter. I don't care. I hate it and I drove home many, many miles out of my way to avoid sitting in it. Even here, closer to home, it was stop and go. I want to hibernate for a while.
I ordered a new scanner today. I'm excited for it to get here. It has transparency capabilities. I'll be able to scan all my negatives so I can see the pictures that I haven't printed yet. Although, I bought 5" x 7" paper today for my own prints. It's the lower grade and smaller so it's not as expensive. I shot pictures of the church last weekend and got one of a chipmunk which I hope comes out clearly. I'll post some after the weekend, when the scanner arrives.
Until then, Happy Easter to the Christians and Happy Ostara to the NeoPagans.
Maybe it's because I just had to travel 20 miles north of home to buy photo paper so I can make prints tomorrow in the darkroom for the critique next Wednesday. The traffic was insane. I don't know if it's because it's Friday or because it's the Friday before Easter. I don't care. I hate it and I drove home many, many miles out of my way to avoid sitting in it. Even here, closer to home, it was stop and go. I want to hibernate for a while.
I ordered a new scanner today. I'm excited for it to get here. It has transparency capabilities. I'll be able to scan all my negatives so I can see the pictures that I haven't printed yet. Although, I bought 5" x 7" paper today for my own prints. It's the lower grade and smaller so it's not as expensive. I shot pictures of the church last weekend and got one of a chipmunk which I hope comes out clearly. I'll post some after the weekend, when the scanner arrives.
Until then, Happy Easter to the Christians and Happy Ostara to the NeoPagans.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Inner journey musings
I've suddenly realized this morning that up till recently I'd been living as though I was in a glass container that had a lid on so tight, nothing could get out. But something happened. It loosened. And it continued to get looser every time I was courageous enough to face a demon head on. That lid was my limitations; my "don't get too big for your britches", my "Who do you think you are?", my "Get your head out of the clouds".
One day, one ordinary day, I popped it off completely. That lid went flying and so did I. It was an awakening of monumental proportions. I was able to understand for the first time in my life that I had allowed others' fears and expectations to keep me small. I can be successful and humble too but that's not how I was raised. Successful people sell their souls for their success. I see now that it was jealousy and fear that perpetrated that lie on my family. We wanted what they had but we could feel smug and superior because WE worked hard for what we had. I see now, everyone does. Well mostly.
OK. The lid is gone. So now what do I do? Anything I want. I'm writing, I'm creating mixed-media art, and I'm taking photographs. I've gone from the numbers person to the artist. I like it so much better. I mean, it is really fun. I'm sharing my viewpoint of the world with anyone who will look or listen and I'm getting positive feedback. It amazes me. It angers me a little too. I wasted so many years pretending to be less than what I was so as to not upset the apple cart. I did not benefit from that at all. Wait a minute. That's not true. I kept the people in my life feeling safe and secure because I didn't soar too high above them and that kept them in my life, making me feel safe and secure which means I did benefit in some ways. So really my wish is that I could have had the self-confidence to know that they would have loved me anyway and my brave attempt at true success may have inspired them to do the same.
Marianne Williamson had it right; who are we to play small? It truly hurts us all. I won't again. I'm allowing myself the freedom and privilege to find my passions and explore them fully. I will allow them to take me to new heights and parachute be damned. I promise to wave as I soar on by.
One day, one ordinary day, I popped it off completely. That lid went flying and so did I. It was an awakening of monumental proportions. I was able to understand for the first time in my life that I had allowed others' fears and expectations to keep me small. I can be successful and humble too but that's not how I was raised. Successful people sell their souls for their success. I see now that it was jealousy and fear that perpetrated that lie on my family. We wanted what they had but we could feel smug and superior because WE worked hard for what we had. I see now, everyone does. Well mostly.
OK. The lid is gone. So now what do I do? Anything I want. I'm writing, I'm creating mixed-media art, and I'm taking photographs. I've gone from the numbers person to the artist. I like it so much better. I mean, it is really fun. I'm sharing my viewpoint of the world with anyone who will look or listen and I'm getting positive feedback. It amazes me. It angers me a little too. I wasted so many years pretending to be less than what I was so as to not upset the apple cart. I did not benefit from that at all. Wait a minute. That's not true. I kept the people in my life feeling safe and secure because I didn't soar too high above them and that kept them in my life, making me feel safe and secure which means I did benefit in some ways. So really my wish is that I could have had the self-confidence to know that they would have loved me anyway and my brave attempt at true success may have inspired them to do the same.
Marianne Williamson had it right; who are we to play small? It truly hurts us all. I won't again. I'm allowing myself the freedom and privilege to find my passions and explore them fully. I will allow them to take me to new heights and parachute be damned. I promise to wave as I soar on by.
Spring!
Well, this is the first day of Spring; the Vernal Equinox. I look out and see snow in my backyard. Something amiss here. The weather prediction for today is more snow. Ah, the joys of living in New England. I like snow photographs so I'm ok with it. My photography class is suppose to be taking a local field trip tomorrow morning to a resevoir. It will be that much more beautiful if a soft snow has blanketed the area. I love the look of tree branches lightly covered with the white stuff. Even prettier is ice. We haven't had a good ice storm this year. Sure, I have a good camera now and no ice. That's not fair. :)
I have my second winter cold too. Those I can do without. I woke up at 4:30AM because I couldn't breathe properly and my throat was sore. I stayed in bed for 45 minutes hoping and praying I'd fall back to sleep. Of course not. I feel like I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks, months maybe.
Meanwhile, my son stayed up all night. He thinks it's great fun to be awake while the rest of the world sleeps. I think I did at 11 too. He's just going to be off for school tomorrow. I'm praying he takes a nap soon.
So in the interim, I watch the sun peek up over my neighbor's houses, ready to start its day over my little plot of earth. Life is good.
I have my second winter cold too. Those I can do without. I woke up at 4:30AM because I couldn't breathe properly and my throat was sore. I stayed in bed for 45 minutes hoping and praying I'd fall back to sleep. Of course not. I feel like I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks, months maybe.
Meanwhile, my son stayed up all night. He thinks it's great fun to be awake while the rest of the world sleeps. I think I did at 11 too. He's just going to be off for school tomorrow. I'm praying he takes a nap soon.
So in the interim, I watch the sun peek up over my neighbor's houses, ready to start its day over my little plot of earth. Life is good.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Snowy Saturday
It's such a pretty snowy day. It was a light snow that just coated the branches, leaving a beautiful view. I had planned on taking pictures for my photography class. My stockade fence has the remnants of a vine still intwined in it and the vines were topped with a little bit of snow, creating gorgeous lines against the fence. I waited because it was still snowing but it fell off before I got out there so I missed the shot. I have learned not to wait. Take the picture immediately or possibly lose out. Ah well. I have the week off to go out shooting.
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