Thursday, April 27, 2006
Zach's back!
Zach left for respite on Monday afternoon and I picked him up this morning. We took about a half hour before I dropped him off at school to reconnect and for him to fill me in on how the experience was. He was staying in a residential treatment program run by DSS even though his placement for respite was through DMH. The boys there were not the best behaved and a few of them had to be physically restrained. Zach was witness to this and did not want it to be him. He claims to have a new appreciation for home and mom. I am quite sure it will be short lived but I'll take what I can get.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Crisis at my house
How does something as simple as sharing a computer turn into a crisis? Make my children the two people sharing it. We ended up with police and an ambulance and a crisis intervention over using the computer.
What's even more unnerving is the fact that our local crisis team refused to admit my son after he made two actual suicide attempts/threats. They sent him home saying he's not in crisis now-about 2 hrs. later (I'd been able to get psych meds into him before we left for the hospital - my bad). This is not the first time they have done this. Can we say "NEGLIGENT"? And how is it I haven't had a drink in 5 years???
I called the sperm donor on the way to the ER. He couldn't come with us because he'd been drinking at dinner so driving wasn't possible. Lovely! Can we say "Handle this alone Kim??" Oh but he was so concerned that I had to call him back when it was all over.
Meanwhile, child #1 is slowly melting down too. I don't see good things for her in the near future if things don't change. I don't think she's taking what few meds she's on and I so believe she needs to go back on a couple she stopped. Her reactions as of late have been off the charts too.
I have this fantasy of packing my car with my cameras & equipment, my computer, my clothes, and my art supplies. I empty the bank account of whatever is left in there and hit the highway. No destination in mind - I just drive until I can't drive anymore. I call their father as I cross a state line a few states away and let him know I'm not coming back; that he can handle it now. But I won't because I love them and I want them to grow up to be healthy, highly functioning adults. That would never happen under his care. If they are to have a chance at a good life, it's with me and besides, I signed on for life. Maybe I should just take a vacation.
In the meantime, the reception for the art show is Thursday night. It should be fun. The gallery is packed with art literally from floor to ceiling and the art building halls are overflowing as well. The work on display is amazing. Good things are happening in the midst of turmoil.
What's even more unnerving is the fact that our local crisis team refused to admit my son after he made two actual suicide attempts/threats. They sent him home saying he's not in crisis now-about 2 hrs. later (I'd been able to get psych meds into him before we left for the hospital - my bad). This is not the first time they have done this. Can we say "NEGLIGENT"? And how is it I haven't had a drink in 5 years???
I called the sperm donor on the way to the ER. He couldn't come with us because he'd been drinking at dinner so driving wasn't possible. Lovely! Can we say "Handle this alone Kim??" Oh but he was so concerned that I had to call him back when it was all over.
Meanwhile, child #1 is slowly melting down too. I don't see good things for her in the near future if things don't change. I don't think she's taking what few meds she's on and I so believe she needs to go back on a couple she stopped. Her reactions as of late have been off the charts too.
I have this fantasy of packing my car with my cameras & equipment, my computer, my clothes, and my art supplies. I empty the bank account of whatever is left in there and hit the highway. No destination in mind - I just drive until I can't drive anymore. I call their father as I cross a state line a few states away and let him know I'm not coming back; that he can handle it now. But I won't because I love them and I want them to grow up to be healthy, highly functioning adults. That would never happen under his care. If they are to have a chance at a good life, it's with me and besides, I signed on for life. Maybe I should just take a vacation.
In the meantime, the reception for the art show is Thursday night. It should be fun. The gallery is packed with art literally from floor to ceiling and the art building halls are overflowing as well. The work on display is amazing. Good things are happening in the midst of turmoil.
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