Sunday, January 20, 2008

A new semester

Classes start again on Tuesday. I dropped two of my classes that would have been on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I don't have to go in until 2:15PM. I will be there early because I want to add an online art history class to my schedule. I'll still have 5 classes if I do that. It's going to be a busy semester but I will keep in mind that graduation is getting closer all the time as I go through this. I still need to take a lot of basic art classes like pottery and sculpture. Those will be fun and I'm looking forward to them. I'm actually hoping to take one of them this summer but only if it doesn't conflict with the vacation I have planned for me and the kids. We are spending a week in a beach house on the CT coastline. We rented it four years ago and it was fantastic. I can't wait to go again. It's a combo Christmas gift for both kids and graduation gift for Nicole but one that I get to enjoy as well. It's going to be the carrot dangling out ahead as I get work through this semester.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

AHA thoughts

I was reading a quick little inspirational email this morning and from it I realized something; major religions tout that human beings should love our neighbors as ourselves. What if we are? What if the troubles in this world lies in the fact that "we" absolutely hate ourselves? Maybe it's not hate but it sure isn't terribly close to anything like love. More like a resigned acceptance or tolerance.

So then, if we don't value our own lives, our own worth, wouldn't it be easy to drop a bomb on someone else's neighborhood or shot them or steal their food? Doesn't it then feel like it's all about "me"? I have to make sure I have enough and to hell with everyone else.

But when I accept my wonderfulness, I can see it in my neighbor. I can see that person as someone as deserving of good as I am. "They" become "me". Their needs are every bit as important as mine. So I'm thinking we need to begin when children are very young to begin teaching them about their own divinity so they can accept every one's divinity. I'm not sure how we do that. It's a huge task but one that is so important. In this largely patriarchal society, children have the fabulousness driven out of them by their parents, by the educational system, by their faith community. It has to stop. We have to teach them about loving themselves so they can love others and bring that love to all they do.

The other thought I had was about how the human race has abused Mother Earth. It struck me that we are Her cancer, the growth that continues to destroy Her. We are what She needs to heal from. Like a cancer, we started out slow and small but then suddenly, with an amazing speed, we began to spread and destroy everything in our path. We are insidious.

Again, how do we fix this? How do we get this message to the masses so that we can start healing Mother Earth, who gives us everything we need. We are not able to survive without Her so how do we do this? I feel it is imperative that we move on this now. We do need to teach the children but that won't be enough. We have to get the adults in on the act immediately. I'm seeing my path as I write this. It is time for me personally to take action. I hope if you resonant with these ideas that you too will do something about it. I'll post again when I discover how to best carry these messages forward.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Snow Day

Zach has been home sick for a week and now that he's finally healthy, Mother Nature has decided to blanket us with a foot of snow. So both kids are home today and so am I. It's absolutely beautiful out there. I love the way the snow sits on the branches and tops of fences. The world is coated with white and made new. It looks so perfect.

I went to an opening for a documentary on Currier & Ives this weekend at The Academy of Music in Northampton. The producer is the youngest sister of two of my friends from high school. It was wonderful to see them and a couple of others that I rarely see. Lisa found it difficult to sit in the seats even though the show wasn't that long. I feel bad for her with the back issues.

Nicole enjoyed it and I was thrilled at the opening piece by the theater; my friend Amy Johnquest was in it. She had agreed to be the emcee for a variety show last year that was held at the theater and she played Ed Sullivan. It was so cool to see her on film. Her daughter Astrelle is an actress so she must have gotten it from Amy.

It was a great afternoon to be in Northampton. The weather was great; sunny and reasonably warm for January. I love that city and plan to live there if we don't leave the area completely after I graduate. I am feeling anxious about finishing school because I know it's going to be three more semesters. I had hoped to do it in two but I know I can't handle 2 semesters of 5+ studio classes. It's just too much with work and two kids. So I'm doing my best to relax into the concept of graduating in the Spring of 2009. One more semester won't kill me. I am concerned about my house and car and having the ability to earn enough to repair what's going wrong in them. I will figure it out though. I always do.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Stressing

I'm stressing over school. I took a literature class based on US Latina writers. I enjoyed it and did really well on the tests and papers that were required. Now the Registrar has me listed without a grade, assuming that I didn't finish the class. I contacted the professor and she told me that she did submit my grade (an "A") so I've asked her to do it again. This is frustrating. If it's not resolved in the next few weeks, the grade becomes an "F". Not cool. This class was one of the last core requirements I had to fill so I want it corrected right away. I'm sure it will be but I'm having a panic moment.

In the meantime, I am trying hard to convince myself not to take on as many classes as I've signed up for (6). Five of them are studio classes so they require 6 hours a week classtime. The 6th class is a one credit self-study so it's not really a big deal but still I'm responsible for completing it. I'm planning to drop the two classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I'll have time for work and studying. But I'm delaying graduation by a semester by doing this. I am getting to the point that I want this to be over. I've been back in school since Sept. 2004. Enough is enough. I need a full time job so I can fix my poor old house. It's falling apart around me and I don't have the funds to do what needs to be done.

Ok - I'm done whining. I think I'll go work out and get rid of this anxious energy.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year

I'm sitting in my kitchen in blissful quiet. The kids are asleep, the cats are lounging, and I'm reading email. Outside my kitchen window there is a pair of squirrels. They are forgaging in my trash can. My trash is their heaven. It really brings home the idea of perspective. Each creature has their own perspective on this earth and none are wrong, just different. The stale doughnut that I threw away just became breakfast for two hungry animals. How wonderful!