So much going on

There's been so much going on. Zach is still unable to leave the house. I can't even get him in the car for a ride. He keeps telling me he'll go but then he refuses at the last minute. I had asked his father to take him for a few days, thinking that it was a place Zach's familiar with and would be safe at. He's in crisis and I need David's help. Silly me, I forgot I'm their only parent. David was just a sperm donor. Once again, he will not help his children. I'm at a point where I'm so utterly disgusted by him that I am beating myself up mentally for ever having had a relationship with this pig of a man. How did I not see him for what he is? I vacillate between the ideas of being able to love him to emotional health and not really loving him - just wanting the marriage and babies thing. I was so dysfunctional at that time that it's probably both. See the saying "If it has tires..."? That's my tribute to my relationships with men. Why can't there be a third gender??

On a good note, I just started working part time at the college's art gallery. We are having an opening tomorrow night for a group of local artists whose works we are displaying. The director hung the show yesterday. The work is good but not really my taste. But then again, I'm a photographer, not a painter. Well, not yet anyway. I haven't really ever tried it.

I finally got my copy of the magazine that published one of my poems; Consciousness Magazine. I haven't read the whole thing yet but I found me. My poem is on a page with a few others. It doesn't stand out like I had hoped but I'm published. I'm doing the happy dance.