She did it!!

Nicole graduated Friday morning on the beautiful campus of Smith College in Northampton, MA. It rained but that didn't dampen the spirits of the graduates. It was a fantastic day. She earned another scholarship and was the top of her class. How cool is that??

Yesterday I found out I was awarded two scholarships for graduate school totaling $1500 and have been offered an interest free loan of $3000. That covers my first semester. If I keep this up, maybe I can finish my MFA without a shit load of debt. Now that would be amazing.

Grad School

I have been accepted into the MFA program for Graphic Design at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco, CA. The program is offered completely online so I don't even have to leave home to take classes. Although . . . I am thinking I'd love to go out there for a semester or two. I'm so tired of Western Massachusetts. I believe it is time for a change in my life - a big one. Zach is what keeps me from really being able to make this decision. I have so many support and medical services in place for him and I worry about disrupting that.

He's all for the idea of packing up and moving across country but I know he's not thinking of his therapy, medications, and educational needs so I have to. It sucks to be the responsible one all the time - well, sometimes. I love being their mother and I really enjoy helping them grow to adulthood. I just wish someone else would take on some of the decision making responsibilities once in a while. But that is not going to happen so I have to pony-up and keeping doing what I'm doing.

Nicole is at school picking up her stuff. Last Friday was her last day of school. She is so excited and I am so happy for her. She has overcome so many challenges that would have defeated a lesser person. She's kicked her mental health disorders in the butt and succeeded in spite of them. I am so proud of her. She graduates on June 6th and I will be clapping the loudest that day. She refuses to allow her father to come because she feels he will embarass her. She may be right. I'm staying out of it. She's 19 and can make that choice without my input. He wants to have a party for her and she is not inclined to accept. To her, he's just DNA in her veins. He has no one to blame but himself. He even blew Zach off this weekend and he hasn't hung out with him since Easter. The man is going to alienate both his children if he doesn't grow up soon. I don't expect that happen however. Zach will become as disgusted with him as his sister as David's behavior remains the same. It's hard to forgive myself for the mistake of marrying and having children with that man. I apologize to my children all the time but it hasn't really lessened the guilt and regret. I'm working on it with my therapist though.

So in the meantime, I'm going to focus on the good things happening our lives; my continued education and Nicole's successes. Zach's a work in progress right now. He's 14 so life is sticky. He's so talented though. I hope he can get past this adolescent crap without too much trouble and become the amazing man I know he's capable of.

I did it!!

Here I am at my college graduation on Saturday. It was the culmination of so many years of dreaming and then putting my energy into doing. I went back to school in the fall of 2004 and on 5/17/08, I became the holder of a Bachelor's degree in Art. The dreaming started in June of 1978 and here, some thirty years later, is the final result. As the Universe would have it, I was accepted into a MFA program for Graphic Design and begin in Sept. This is beyond what I had envision for myself on the day of my high school graduation. But it's here and I am going to revel in it.

Education

Nicole got a letter from MCLA this past week with the details of her financial aid for the coming academic year. Between her scholarships and grants, her entire education is going to be paid for. It does include work study but that will be more spending money for her. We are both thrilled and relieved and incredibly excited. She's going to do fabulous things with her life and this is just the beginning.

Meanwhile, I got a letter from WSC advising me that the Art Dept. had nominated me for an academic honor. I'll be receiving it tomorrow at a banquet. Nicole is going to go to campus with me even though I have class first. I told my professor that I need to leave early so I'll take the test, pass in my project, and then go to the banquet. I also bought my cap and gown this past week. It's all coming together. Now I just have to get my application for grad school in. I've decided to try for the Academy of Art University in San Francisco, CA. They offer a M.A. in Graphic Design online. I need to work on my portfolio. That will be important to the application process. It will really help if I can graduate Magna Cum Laude though. I'm on target for it. Goddess willing...

Skinner Mountain

Nicole and I went hiking yesterday. We climbed Skinner Mountain from the base to the summit. I did a lot of whining but I made it to the top. Here's one of the photos I took when I got there. It took us almost an hour to get from up there but it was so worth the hike. Truly, we could have driven but that wouldn't have been any fun, right?? Well, that's what my daughter tells me. I really am glad that I hiked it. It gave me a wonderful sense of accomplishment and the view seemed sweeter because I'd exerted myself to get there to see it.

The mountain sits in Hadley, MA so we were able to UMASS Amherst from the top. We also had a bird's eyeview of the CT River winding its way through the Pioneer Valley. The trees aren't in bloom yet so we were really able to see so much more. What a beautiful view!

The Finale

It's here. I am amazed. I have received notice from the registar's office that I am graduating next month. After graduating high school in 1978, I have wanted a B.A. and on May 17th, I will be receiving one - finally. It has been a long time coming and I have worked so hard. If my grades stay up, I'll be graduating Magna Cum Laude and I am so proud of myself. I'm receiving an academic honor from the Art Dept. next Tuesday at a banquet on campus. So many good things have happened this year and I am just in awe. It is all finally coming together.

I've even found a grad school that offers graphic design classes online. It's incredibly expensive so we'll have to take it one class at a time but I so glad I found it. Now I just have to get accepted. Oh happy day!

Even Nicole has gotten great news - she was accepted into the college she wanted to go to and they've offered her a four year $2k academic scholarship. I didn't even know public school did that. I'm so proud of her and happy for her. Her graduation is two weeks after mine. We are both so psyched for each other.

Remember Native Americans: Your Strength to Remember

 

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Remember Native Americans: Your Strength to Remember

Classes

Classes are going really well but I did drop out of one; Anatomy for Artists.  The amount of drawing required with my other courses was just not doable.  I was behind by the end of the first week.  I am loving my Graphic Design and Typography classes.  We had to do a paper and presentation last week on a designer.  I had chosen David Carson.  I rocked it!  I created a multi-media AVI file with his work and added an audio track.  He's a surfer as well so I used a song by Fallout Boy.  It came out great.  I also had 3 short movie files that I had found on the Internet and I brought one of his books in as well.  Todd, the adjunct who teaches it, was very impressed and I felt so good when it was over.  I knew it had gone well.  David Carson presentation

A new semester

Classes start again on Tuesday. I dropped two of my classes that would have been on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I don't have to go in until 2:15PM. I will be there early because I want to add an online art history class to my schedule. I'll still have 5 classes if I do that. It's going to be a busy semester but I will keep in mind that graduation is getting closer all the time as I go through this. I still need to take a lot of basic art classes like pottery and sculpture. Those will be fun and I'm looking forward to them. I'm actually hoping to take one of them this summer but only if it doesn't conflict with the vacation I have planned for me and the kids. We are spending a week in a beach house on the CT coastline. We rented it four years ago and it was fantastic. I can't wait to go again. It's a combo Christmas gift for both kids and graduation gift for Nicole but one that I get to enjoy as well. It's going to be the carrot dangling out ahead as I get work through this semester.

AHA thoughts

I was reading a quick little inspirational email this morning and from it I realized something; major religions tout that human beings should love our neighbors as ourselves. What if we are? What if the troubles in this world lies in the fact that "we" absolutely hate ourselves? Maybe it's not hate but it sure isn't terribly close to anything like love. More like a resigned acceptance or tolerance.

So then, if we don't value our own lives, our own worth, wouldn't it be easy to drop a bomb on someone else's neighborhood or shot them or steal their food? Doesn't it then feel like it's all about "me"? I have to make sure I have enough and to hell with everyone else.

But when I accept my wonderfulness, I can see it in my neighbor. I can see that person as someone as deserving of good as I am. "They" become "me". Their needs are every bit as important as mine. So I'm thinking we need to begin when children are very young to begin teaching them about their own divinity so they can accept every one's divinity. I'm not sure how we do that. It's a huge task but one that is so important. In this largely patriarchal society, children have the fabulousness driven out of them by their parents, by the educational system, by their faith community. It has to stop. We have to teach them about loving themselves so they can love others and bring that love to all they do.

The other thought I had was about how the human race has abused Mother Earth. It struck me that we are Her cancer, the growth that continues to destroy Her. We are what She needs to heal from. Like a cancer, we started out slow and small but then suddenly, with an amazing speed, we began to spread and destroy everything in our path. We are insidious.

Again, how do we fix this? How do we get this message to the masses so that we can start healing Mother Earth, who gives us everything we need. We are not able to survive without Her so how do we do this? I feel it is imperative that we move on this now. We do need to teach the children but that won't be enough. We have to get the adults in on the act immediately. I'm seeing my path as I write this. It is time for me personally to take action. I hope if you resonant with these ideas that you too will do something about it. I'll post again when I discover how to best carry these messages forward.