The start of spring

It's the beginning of spring. Lisa's birthday is tomorrow and Nicole is at Peace Jam this weekend. Zach and I are just hanging out. I've got a QBasic test on Monday so I should be studying for it. I was sick all week and missed every day except last Monday. I have a lot to catch up on. I want to do really well on the test because I know I've missed more than the alloted amount of classes for that professor and need to keep my grade up. I've got an A average right now and want to keep it there. I was just invited to join Phi Theta Phi, an honor society for 4 year colleges so I really have to keep the GPA steady.

I'm being so lazy today. I should be doing housework and I don't want to. I got up early to take Niki to her school so she could meet the other people going to Peace Jam. So I can pretend I'm tired. I really am but I'm just being lazy. That's what I love about Saturdays.

I bought Wild Divine yesterday and couldn't install it on my Gateway. It doesn't seem to work with Windows Vista. I had Nicole install it on our Compaq and it's working ok. It does lag when you click to move within the "journey" of the program. The graphics are amazing and the tasks seem to really involve breathe work and lowering your heart rate. I'm going to enjoy using it.

Ah . . . life

I have me a new laptop computer, a Gateway. I can be online whenever I want and I can write whenever I want. So am I? Sort of. I haven't been writing. I actually bought it because Zach is home more often now and it's tough sharing one computer with three people. Nicole is going to buy a laptop too. So we'll all have a computer at our disposal. I like the idea of being able to journal on a computer. Paper and pen doesn't seem to work for me. I'd like to start working on more computer art as well. My classes in graphic design software are going really well and I'm really enjoying them. Computer Graphics is starting on Photoshop this week. Finally!

The kids are downstairs, having a great time. I can hear them singing and laughing. What a wonderful sound to have floating upwards. They are getting along so well lately. I feel like we are a healthy, happy family. Life is good.

We joined a gym a week ago. It's been surprisingly fun. I'm really enjoying the feeling I get after working out. I love seeing the definition my muscles are starting to get. The kids love it too. Ah . . . life. It just keeps getting better.

Life

I'm always amazed at how fast life comes at me. You'd think after 46 years, I'd have gotten used to it. Zach is coming home soon and is spending a lot more time here now. I'm having a difficult time readjusting. He's not doing anything wrong, I'm just really missing the quiet calm that Nicole and I had created for ourselves. She doesn't go away for the weekends anymore either so I'm "Mom" every minute of everyday now and I'm tired. If only I had a co-parent I could count on.

I feel guilty for whining because a friend's (Janet) daughter (Aimee - beautiful 22 yr old college student) has been in the hospital since early November with some strange unknown illness that caused her brain to swell. She's recovering and is actually working with physical therapists now to regain her strength and mobility. It's a reminder of how precious our children even as they move toward adulthood. Janet's best friend, Carol, has a 21 yr. old son (Mike) with severe epilepsy. He's been in a Boston hospital for over 2 years now and I don't think he's ever coming home. Both situations help me to remain grateful for my childrens' health. My childrens' disabilities don't seem so overwhelming when I think of what other parents are going through close by and around the world.

So today I'm sending out healing prayers for all the sick children and their scared parents. I hope the world will join me. The power of collective positive thoughts is unstoppable.

Namaste!

Zach update

We had a team meeting Thursday for Zach at the residential program that he's in. We discussed his progress as well as the plans for his future. He's done so well and everyone involved is really pleased, myself included. His grades are straight A's and he's stayed out of trouble in the program and at school since last October. When he's home, he's trying very hard to be cooperative and understanding. And he's succeeding. He and Nicole are getting along so much better. They are sharing the computer fairly well but I still hope to get a new one that is connected to the internet so that it will be easier for all of us when we need to be online. Right now, I'm relegated to early mornings and with my college classes, that is not always enough. They are each taking a block of time and then switching. I think that will ease up when Zach is home for good because he'll have much more freedom so he'll be off with friends. At this time, he's not allowed to leave my presence so friends have to come here.

Anyway, his home date is Memorial Day weekend. In the meantime, he'll stay longer on the weekends, coming home on Fridays and not returning until Monday night. We're planning to have him be here for the entire spring vacation from school in April.

Speaking of spring breaks, mine is only one week away. I am so needing a week off. Classes are going well and I start a work study job on Monday. I'll be organizing and cleaning the printmaking and painting studios on campus. Every once in a while, I'll fill in at the campus art gallery. I'm not sure I want to be cleaning anything (housework is not my forte) but I need the money and the job helps me qualify as a working disabled adult for state help with my medical bills. Medicare only covers so much so I need their help. I'm going to keep a positive attitude about it.